i hereby present chapter thirteen.
Sep. 10th, 2002 12:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
breakfastofchampionsthis chapter is titled "evan lucie hennessey", because that is who it mainly concerns.
Thirteen: Evan Lucie Hennessey.
Having lived there his entire life, Evan had the house mapped out clearly in his mind. It was not merely a map denoting spatial relationships, but a map of emotion and memory. The first floor. It was neutral territory. He could enter the first floor. There was the foyer, the living room, dining room, kitchen, laundry room, and the downstairs bathroom. He could cook there, eat there, use the bathroom, watch television, do laundry, and few things were forbidden to him. However, he must not sit in the green armchair or on the left side of the couch. He could not open the coat closet. While watching television, there were certain films, certain programs he was not allowed to see. Hearing certain songs forced him to turn off the radio. The second floor was more treacherous. He could use the bathroom there, and the hall closet. He could enter his parents’ room, but only in the daytime and with good reason. The other two bedrooms on the second floor were strictly forbidden. Then there was the garage, which had been converted into a living space for himself. That was his territory, the safe zone, where everything was permitted. The garage had been converted recently, and all trace of bad memory that might have once been there had been obliterated. There was also the basement, but Evan would not allow himself to consider the basement. If he could have dealt with the thought of the basement, however, he would have classified it forbidden, eternally so.
Evan’s parents did not question his self-imposed rules. They had long ceased questioning their younger son, who was obviously a miracle of genetics. He was a creature they could not imagined having engendered, a human being of a different sort entirely than those people they were used to. Most of the time they did not speak to him. He was content to live alone in the converted garage. His grades were adequate, and he was not given to rebellious behavior. This was enough for them. For his seventeenth birthday they had been kind enough to give him the only thing he had asked for, without questioning him as to his reasons for asking, although certainly they suspected what those reasons were. They had allowed him to change his name, giving their consent and paying the necessary fee, signing the necessary papers. Evan Sean Hennessey became Evan Lucie Hennessey.
Rising early, Evan took the train into the city every weekday morning, where he attended school and where he spent most of his afternoons after school. He was allowed to ride in the train and in automobiles, fortunately, although certain makes of cars unsettled him. Air travel was forbidden.
Evan’s presence at George Sand High School was an attempt to make the school more ethnically diverse. Evan was not troubled by being one of a number of token whites from the suburbs. Evan’s acquaintances from his previous, suburban high school had warned him of his impending doom when he was informed he was being sent to George Sand. He was certain, they said, to be bullied and beat up for being white and middle class. Not to mention, they did not add, the fact that he was a misfit to begin with. He was unnaturally quiet, constantly scribbling in one of his notebooks, and it was rumored that he was gay. But Evan actually preferred George Sand to his previous school. At George Sand he was left to himself. Evan’s lack of fear and his reserved manner encouraged neither friendliness nor abuse. Evan humbly took pictures for the underfunded school newspaper. The school literary magazine was full of his photographs, although never his writings. Evan was not allowed to let anyone else read what he had written.
After meeting Jyoti and Claude in the library, Evan hesitated before returning there. It was not that he was afraid of the girls, nor was he kept away by shyness, but he did experience a certain anxiety concerning them. He liked the girls already. He was concerned that he would become deeply fond of them, only to have them disappear. He remembered when he had first seen Jyoti, as Miss Martindale was chastising her and escorting her back to the school. The short-haired, defiant girl with her school uniform askew had amused him. He had recognized the uniform as that of Vycrest Academy. Jyoti had seemed so unlike the idea of the stereotypical Vycrest girl. He had written a short piece about her in his notebook. He had wished, as he often did when he spied interesting people, that he could get to know her but had supposed he would never see her again.
Then, in the public library, he had noticed another girl, also in a Vycrest uniform, meekly shelving books, rustling softly through the library silence. A diminutive, pale girl with grey-green hair and matching wide eyes, eyes and hair which also beautifully matched the gray and green plaid of her school uniform. He had wondered what her name was, and why she was working in the public library. He thought she was adorable and drew a sketch of her. He wrote a list of names alongside the sketch which he imagined might belong to her, all of which turned out to be incorrect.
It was because of this second girl that he had returned to the library. When he saw her again, he was surprised to find her accompanied by the first girl, the dark-haired one he had seen walking down the street. He had been secretly delighted when they introduced themselves and spoke to him, although he was careful not to look at them, even when they spoke, especially avoiding the eyes of the pale girl. It had been, to his mind, a perfect encounter.
For that reason, he was wary of seeing the girls again, not wanting to mar his memory of them, not wanting to become attached enough that they could cause him pain. At first he was determined not to return to the public library, but as the days passed, his resolve deteriorated. He examined his feelings and realized it was already too late for him. He liked them too much following their initial conversation. They would cause him pain regardless, because if he never spoke to them again, he would regret not returning to the library. He would always wish he had gotten to know them better.
He walked to the library from school after classes let out. He left his books in his locker, as always. His notebook was tucked under his arm, pens stuck in the notebook’s spiral binding, and in the pockets of his jeans. The stags flanking the library’s front steps watched his approach with curiosity. Evan had sketched them many times. They were handsome sculptures. They numbered among his best-loved landmarks of the city.
Inside, the library was basking in its usual mid-afternoon weekday languor. Most of the activity was centered in the children’s section, which Evan skirted. He scanned the shelves for the girls without seeming to do so. They were not immediately in evidence, so Evan found a quiet table for himself with a good view. He pulled a pen from his notebook’s binding and opened the notebook. He was in the middle of writing a story. It concerned the adventures of two mice. Evan particularly enjoyed drawing pictures of the mice looking for food and skirting danger. Presently, the mice were engaged in a dialogue with a fox.
Evan drew the fox with its bushy tail wrapped around itself, then looked up. There she was. Claude. She did not seem to have noticed him, or was pretending not to. He had a view of her in profile as she leaned down next to a cart of books to be reshelved, pulling up her knee-high socks. Evan blushed and looked down at the drawing of the fox. When he looked up again, Claude had straightened and was watching him. Evan quickly averted his gaze.
Aware that Evan had seen her, Claude stood for a moment watching him. She wondered what Jyoti would do, or Eithne. At last she steeled herself and walked over. “Hi.”
“Hi.”
“How are you?”
Evan closed his notebook absently, staring at the edge of the table. “I’m okay. How are you?”
“Jyoti’s not here today.”
“Oh.”
“Actually, she’s disappeared.”
Evan looked up in surprise, but his gaze was still directed to one side. “Disappeared?”
“She left the dorm at night a few days ago and she hasn’t come back. No one knows where she is.”
“Oh...”
“But don’t worry. I’m sure she’s fine. I’m not worried. But I wanted to let you know, because she probably won’t come here anymore. They won’t let her.” Claude’s face felt hot and her throat was tight. She raised her hand to her mouth and bit a finger, shifting where she stood.
“I hope she comes back safe.”
“She will.”
A strained silence ensued.
“Do you like to draw?” Claude asked, blushing. Why can’t I think of a decent question? she wondered.
“I enjoy it.”
“I won’t ask to look at your book. I like to draw, too.”
Evan felt a flash of warmth for the girl and opened his notebook to the picture of the fox. He showed it to Claude. “It’s nothing much. It’s a story I’m writing.”
“I like foxes. I mean, it’s nice.”
“Thank you.”
“What year are you?” Another stupid question, Claude.
“I’m a senior.”
“You’ll be going to college soon?”
“No. It’s my last semester, but I haven’t applied anywhere.”
“Oh.”
“I could go, but I don’t want to. What year are you in?”
“I’m a sophomore.”
Evan held his breath for a moment. When he breathed again, he spoke. “Would you like to go on a walk with me?”
“A walk?”
“Just for a little while.”
“I can’t leave. I’m on probation.”
“Probation? For how long?”
“I don’t know. I’ve been on probation since I came to Vycrest.”
“That’s right, you’re delinquents, Jyoti said.”
“I was expelled from my last school. I started my freshman year at Vycrest on probation. I’ve been on probation since.”
“I’m sorry. I wouldn’t want to get you in trouble.”
Claude folded her arms behind her back. She did want to go for a walk with him. She was feeling lonely with Jyoti gone, despite having Eithne for company. Evan, with his quiet manner, put her at ease as few people did. She did not exactly feel easy with him, but she was less unsettled than she would have been with any other unfamiliar person. “Wait here,” she said. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
Evan nodded an affirmative towards a row of shelves.
Claude hurried off. She went directly to the circulation desk. One of the librarians was there and acknowledged her presence with a glance, but she was not the person Claude sought. Claude hurried away, to the mild puzzlement of the librarian. She proceeded directly to the reference section. But he was not there, either. Nor was he in the children’s section, nor the physical sciences. He would not be in the underground portion of the library, Claude knew, so she did not look for him there. At last she tried the correct location and located him in one of the conference rooms.
“Miss Levert! Looking for me?” Zedalius’s head rose from his work.
“Yes. May I ask you a question?”
“The only reason for a question is to be asked. Or is it?” He pursed his lips. “No, no, most assuredly there are other reasons....”
Claude took this as permission given. “May I go on a walk?”
Zedalius ruffled the papers he had been looking through. The authorities at Vycrest had informed him of Jyoti’s disappearance, and it had alarmed him. He was worried about the missing girl, of course, but he was worried also about the girl who had not disappeared: Claudia-Marie Levert. Claudia struck him as a lonely child. Zedalius understood loneliness. With her friend missing, the girl must be in great pain. Zedalius had seen no evidence of this in the girl’s behavior, but this was unsurprising. She did not strike him as a girl who was forward concerning her feelings, or was forward concerning anything at all. Claudia asking him to go on a walk just now struck him as odd. She had never before evidenced a wish to leave the library during her shift there. Surely her abrupt request was related, in some way, to the absconding of Jyoti Vidyarthi. Zedalius did not want Claudia to injure herself, or to run off with the idea of finding her friend. One girl missing was bad enough.
“A walk? Where will you be walking?”
“Not far.”
“You know, of course, that it is my responsibility to look after you. This includes escorting you at all times when you’re not in the library.”
“Yes, I know. But I thought you might let me as a favor.”
Zedalius was well aware that the girl could have easily gone off by herself without her absence being noticed for some time. The library staff was used to her and did not keep tabs on her. It spoke volumes for her politeness and maturity, in his eyes, that she had, instead of gallivanting off to wherever she wanted to go, thought to come and ask him first. “I would be glad to do a favor for you, Miss Levert, but not one that involves breaking the rules, I fear.”
Claude nodded. “Yes, I understand. I’m sorry for troubling you.”
“No trouble at all,” he replied sadly. “No trouble.”
Claude took her leave of Zedalius. When she returned to the table where Evan had been sitting, she found he was gone.
Thirteen: Evan Lucie Hennessey.
Having lived there his entire life, Evan had the house mapped out clearly in his mind. It was not merely a map denoting spatial relationships, but a map of emotion and memory. The first floor. It was neutral territory. He could enter the first floor. There was the foyer, the living room, dining room, kitchen, laundry room, and the downstairs bathroom. He could cook there, eat there, use the bathroom, watch television, do laundry, and few things were forbidden to him. However, he must not sit in the green armchair or on the left side of the couch. He could not open the coat closet. While watching television, there were certain films, certain programs he was not allowed to see. Hearing certain songs forced him to turn off the radio. The second floor was more treacherous. He could use the bathroom there, and the hall closet. He could enter his parents’ room, but only in the daytime and with good reason. The other two bedrooms on the second floor were strictly forbidden. Then there was the garage, which had been converted into a living space for himself. That was his territory, the safe zone, where everything was permitted. The garage had been converted recently, and all trace of bad memory that might have once been there had been obliterated. There was also the basement, but Evan would not allow himself to consider the basement. If he could have dealt with the thought of the basement, however, he would have classified it forbidden, eternally so.
Evan’s parents did not question his self-imposed rules. They had long ceased questioning their younger son, who was obviously a miracle of genetics. He was a creature they could not imagined having engendered, a human being of a different sort entirely than those people they were used to. Most of the time they did not speak to him. He was content to live alone in the converted garage. His grades were adequate, and he was not given to rebellious behavior. This was enough for them. For his seventeenth birthday they had been kind enough to give him the only thing he had asked for, without questioning him as to his reasons for asking, although certainly they suspected what those reasons were. They had allowed him to change his name, giving their consent and paying the necessary fee, signing the necessary papers. Evan Sean Hennessey became Evan Lucie Hennessey.
Rising early, Evan took the train into the city every weekday morning, where he attended school and where he spent most of his afternoons after school. He was allowed to ride in the train and in automobiles, fortunately, although certain makes of cars unsettled him. Air travel was forbidden.
Evan’s presence at George Sand High School was an attempt to make the school more ethnically diverse. Evan was not troubled by being one of a number of token whites from the suburbs. Evan’s acquaintances from his previous, suburban high school had warned him of his impending doom when he was informed he was being sent to George Sand. He was certain, they said, to be bullied and beat up for being white and middle class. Not to mention, they did not add, the fact that he was a misfit to begin with. He was unnaturally quiet, constantly scribbling in one of his notebooks, and it was rumored that he was gay. But Evan actually preferred George Sand to his previous school. At George Sand he was left to himself. Evan’s lack of fear and his reserved manner encouraged neither friendliness nor abuse. Evan humbly took pictures for the underfunded school newspaper. The school literary magazine was full of his photographs, although never his writings. Evan was not allowed to let anyone else read what he had written.
After meeting Jyoti and Claude in the library, Evan hesitated before returning there. It was not that he was afraid of the girls, nor was he kept away by shyness, but he did experience a certain anxiety concerning them. He liked the girls already. He was concerned that he would become deeply fond of them, only to have them disappear. He remembered when he had first seen Jyoti, as Miss Martindale was chastising her and escorting her back to the school. The short-haired, defiant girl with her school uniform askew had amused him. He had recognized the uniform as that of Vycrest Academy. Jyoti had seemed so unlike the idea of the stereotypical Vycrest girl. He had written a short piece about her in his notebook. He had wished, as he often did when he spied interesting people, that he could get to know her but had supposed he would never see her again.
Then, in the public library, he had noticed another girl, also in a Vycrest uniform, meekly shelving books, rustling softly through the library silence. A diminutive, pale girl with grey-green hair and matching wide eyes, eyes and hair which also beautifully matched the gray and green plaid of her school uniform. He had wondered what her name was, and why she was working in the public library. He thought she was adorable and drew a sketch of her. He wrote a list of names alongside the sketch which he imagined might belong to her, all of which turned out to be incorrect.
It was because of this second girl that he had returned to the library. When he saw her again, he was surprised to find her accompanied by the first girl, the dark-haired one he had seen walking down the street. He had been secretly delighted when they introduced themselves and spoke to him, although he was careful not to look at them, even when they spoke, especially avoiding the eyes of the pale girl. It had been, to his mind, a perfect encounter.
For that reason, he was wary of seeing the girls again, not wanting to mar his memory of them, not wanting to become attached enough that they could cause him pain. At first he was determined not to return to the public library, but as the days passed, his resolve deteriorated. He examined his feelings and realized it was already too late for him. He liked them too much following their initial conversation. They would cause him pain regardless, because if he never spoke to them again, he would regret not returning to the library. He would always wish he had gotten to know them better.
He walked to the library from school after classes let out. He left his books in his locker, as always. His notebook was tucked under his arm, pens stuck in the notebook’s spiral binding, and in the pockets of his jeans. The stags flanking the library’s front steps watched his approach with curiosity. Evan had sketched them many times. They were handsome sculptures. They numbered among his best-loved landmarks of the city.
Inside, the library was basking in its usual mid-afternoon weekday languor. Most of the activity was centered in the children’s section, which Evan skirted. He scanned the shelves for the girls without seeming to do so. They were not immediately in evidence, so Evan found a quiet table for himself with a good view. He pulled a pen from his notebook’s binding and opened the notebook. He was in the middle of writing a story. It concerned the adventures of two mice. Evan particularly enjoyed drawing pictures of the mice looking for food and skirting danger. Presently, the mice were engaged in a dialogue with a fox.
Evan drew the fox with its bushy tail wrapped around itself, then looked up. There she was. Claude. She did not seem to have noticed him, or was pretending not to. He had a view of her in profile as she leaned down next to a cart of books to be reshelved, pulling up her knee-high socks. Evan blushed and looked down at the drawing of the fox. When he looked up again, Claude had straightened and was watching him. Evan quickly averted his gaze.
Aware that Evan had seen her, Claude stood for a moment watching him. She wondered what Jyoti would do, or Eithne. At last she steeled herself and walked over. “Hi.”
“Hi.”
“How are you?”
Evan closed his notebook absently, staring at the edge of the table. “I’m okay. How are you?”
“Jyoti’s not here today.”
“Oh.”
“Actually, she’s disappeared.”
Evan looked up in surprise, but his gaze was still directed to one side. “Disappeared?”
“She left the dorm at night a few days ago and she hasn’t come back. No one knows where she is.”
“Oh...”
“But don’t worry. I’m sure she’s fine. I’m not worried. But I wanted to let you know, because she probably won’t come here anymore. They won’t let her.” Claude’s face felt hot and her throat was tight. She raised her hand to her mouth and bit a finger, shifting where she stood.
“I hope she comes back safe.”
“She will.”
A strained silence ensued.
“Do you like to draw?” Claude asked, blushing. Why can’t I think of a decent question? she wondered.
“I enjoy it.”
“I won’t ask to look at your book. I like to draw, too.”
Evan felt a flash of warmth for the girl and opened his notebook to the picture of the fox. He showed it to Claude. “It’s nothing much. It’s a story I’m writing.”
“I like foxes. I mean, it’s nice.”
“Thank you.”
“What year are you?” Another stupid question, Claude.
“I’m a senior.”
“You’ll be going to college soon?”
“No. It’s my last semester, but I haven’t applied anywhere.”
“Oh.”
“I could go, but I don’t want to. What year are you in?”
“I’m a sophomore.”
Evan held his breath for a moment. When he breathed again, he spoke. “Would you like to go on a walk with me?”
“A walk?”
“Just for a little while.”
“I can’t leave. I’m on probation.”
“Probation? For how long?”
“I don’t know. I’ve been on probation since I came to Vycrest.”
“That’s right, you’re delinquents, Jyoti said.”
“I was expelled from my last school. I started my freshman year at Vycrest on probation. I’ve been on probation since.”
“I’m sorry. I wouldn’t want to get you in trouble.”
Claude folded her arms behind her back. She did want to go for a walk with him. She was feeling lonely with Jyoti gone, despite having Eithne for company. Evan, with his quiet manner, put her at ease as few people did. She did not exactly feel easy with him, but she was less unsettled than she would have been with any other unfamiliar person. “Wait here,” she said. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
Evan nodded an affirmative towards a row of shelves.
Claude hurried off. She went directly to the circulation desk. One of the librarians was there and acknowledged her presence with a glance, but she was not the person Claude sought. Claude hurried away, to the mild puzzlement of the librarian. She proceeded directly to the reference section. But he was not there, either. Nor was he in the children’s section, nor the physical sciences. He would not be in the underground portion of the library, Claude knew, so she did not look for him there. At last she tried the correct location and located him in one of the conference rooms.
“Miss Levert! Looking for me?” Zedalius’s head rose from his work.
“Yes. May I ask you a question?”
“The only reason for a question is to be asked. Or is it?” He pursed his lips. “No, no, most assuredly there are other reasons....”
Claude took this as permission given. “May I go on a walk?”
Zedalius ruffled the papers he had been looking through. The authorities at Vycrest had informed him of Jyoti’s disappearance, and it had alarmed him. He was worried about the missing girl, of course, but he was worried also about the girl who had not disappeared: Claudia-Marie Levert. Claudia struck him as a lonely child. Zedalius understood loneliness. With her friend missing, the girl must be in great pain. Zedalius had seen no evidence of this in the girl’s behavior, but this was unsurprising. She did not strike him as a girl who was forward concerning her feelings, or was forward concerning anything at all. Claudia asking him to go on a walk just now struck him as odd. She had never before evidenced a wish to leave the library during her shift there. Surely her abrupt request was related, in some way, to the absconding of Jyoti Vidyarthi. Zedalius did not want Claudia to injure herself, or to run off with the idea of finding her friend. One girl missing was bad enough.
“A walk? Where will you be walking?”
“Not far.”
“You know, of course, that it is my responsibility to look after you. This includes escorting you at all times when you’re not in the library.”
“Yes, I know. But I thought you might let me as a favor.”
Zedalius was well aware that the girl could have easily gone off by herself without her absence being noticed for some time. The library staff was used to her and did not keep tabs on her. It spoke volumes for her politeness and maturity, in his eyes, that she had, instead of gallivanting off to wherever she wanted to go, thought to come and ask him first. “I would be glad to do a favor for you, Miss Levert, but not one that involves breaking the rules, I fear.”
Claude nodded. “Yes, I understand. I’m sorry for troubling you.”
“No trouble at all,” he replied sadly. “No trouble.”
Claude took her leave of Zedalius. When she returned to the table where Evan had been sitting, she found he was gone.